There is snow outside, neighborhood is white and quite. Tori Amos-Winter is on in the background. My internet connection is shit I feel kinda alone and that’s why I am writing. I need to get things out of my head and I constantly need to check on myself. It is peaceful now, moment of realization. I have been thinking about human connections. Research says it makes people happier, live longer. Genuine ones are hard to built for someone who is self-conscious most of the time. While I am thinking the moment is gone. I need to get out of my head too, not just my thought.
For the self check part, I am still 76 kgs. I was just able to get 1 session of yoga, due to lock down and snow and workload, there is no time to run or no will. Maybe I should activate my freeletics account sinc eI am always at home??
I changed my mind about French, it it just too hard to pronounce and there is not much of a usage for me in future I guess. I will keep studying German which is more convenient in many ways. Rosetta Stone? Babble? We will see..
I have not touched any of my books they are just being dragged in home from places to places as if there is so many places to be dragged… I will get to it today because it is a perfect weather to read a book.
I still smoke and haven’t reduced amount a bit, I am stressed. I will get to it this week more, I need to focus on that and get a tooth cleaning.
For the scenario I have been watching dystopia movies and series. I am going to do a deeper research on Stephan King and Joe Hill. Locke&Key was great but it could be done a bit better at some places in my thought.
All that said, I have to start living each day and do something for myself. I should not let work get the best of me. And I should stop thinking about human connections, they are not a good investment and I have been always a lonely wolf.
I need me, everyday. It is time to wake up the wolf.